Only A Complete Asshole Would Get Married At Madison Square Garden

This here is not a personal diatribe about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.

I got no beef with either of these two crazy kids.

Swift is one of the hardest-working entertainers in show business, and Kelce is one of the greatest tight ends to ever play pro football.

They’re more than welcome to fall in love, and Swift is more than welcome to pen https://www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/article/taylor-swift-travis-kelce-wood-21089300.php">songs about her man’s girthy member.

The pair are also free to tie the knot anytime, and anywhere, they like. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/24/nyregion/taylor-swift-wedding-madison-square-garden.html">Except for …

One of the biggest events of the summer has been a mystery: When and where are Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce getting married?

And when does everyone get to celebrate?

New details confirmed by The New York Times suggest a multiple-day event at Madison Square Garden, which an entertainment industry executive said Ms. Swift had rented.

The entertainment industry executive and another person with knowledge of the matter described the anticipated festivities: On July 2, the plans call for an intimate gathering of about 100 people at the Garden.

The next day on July 3, about 1,000 guests would gather there for a splashier celebration, with possible stage appearances.

Seriously?

You two are getting married at Madison Square fucking Garden?

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.