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“Time for Tottenham to start panicking? This is, of course, a subtle trick question.

Tottenham is one of those clubs that never actually stops panicking.

They panic when they concede and they panic when they score.

They panic when they have the ball and they panic when someone else does.

They have a coach in Roberto De Zerbi whose face evokes a state of permanent alarm, the expression of a man perpetually having a toilet door opened on him.

One year they even managed to panic their way to the Europa League.

For the ever-rattled Spurs fan, this club is less a treasured devotion and more a lifelong haunting, broken up by occasional panic substitutions…”

In a further blow to Spurs, De Zerbi also revealed that Richarlison, Kevin Danso and Pape Matar Sarr all want to leave.