Red Alert: Nick Sirianni Has Discovered ChatGPT

Credit to The Athletic for crafting the most haunting lede of 2026. https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/7451959/2026/07/20/eagles-coach-nick-sirianni-training-camp/">Monday's article about the Eagles head coach begins with a single, chilling sentence: "Nick Sirianni discovered ChatGPT this offseason."

The mind reels.

More and more of what sucks about modern life is the result of a certain kind of person becoming overly enamored with the capabilities of chatbots.

You hear that someone recently "discovered ChatGPT," and you reflexively begin preparing for a near future in which that person will soon be excitedly detailing hours-long conversations they had with their computer.

So how far gone is Sirianni?