I Need Jacob Misorowski To Please Be Careful!

I have become an anxious mother, and I have adopted Jacob Misorowski as my son.

I don’t know how this happened, and I would like it to stop, because it’s taking a toll on me.

Life used to be so simple.

I used to watch his outings with a detached amazement.

Back when I had https://defector.com/jacob-misiorowski-is-throwing-so-damn-hard">a normal relationship to his pitching prowess, Misiorowski had already thrown 79 of the 100 highest-velocity pitches since tracking began.

As of last night, https://baseballsavant.mlb.com/statcast_search?hfPT=&hfAB=&hfGT=R%7C&hfPR=&hfZ=&hfStadium=&hfBBL=&hfNewZones=&hfPull=&hfC=&hfSea=2026%7C2025%7C2024%7C2023%7C2022%7C2021%7C2020%7C2019%7C2018%7C2017%7C2016%7C2015%7C2014%7C2013%7C2012%7C2011%7C2010%7C2009%7C2008%7C&hfSit=&player_type=pitcher&hfOuts=&home_road=&pitcher_throws=&batter_stands=&hfSA=&hfEventOuts=&hfEventRuns=&hfABSFlag=&game_date_gt=&game_date_lt=&hfMo=&hfTeam=&hfOpponent=&hfRO=&position=SP&hfInfield=&hfOutfield=&hfInn=&hfBBT=&hfFlag=&metric_1=&group_by=name-event&min_pitches=0&min_results=0&min_pas=0&sort_col=velocity&player_event_sort=api_p_release_speed&sort_order=desc&chk_event_release_speed=on#results">he holds all 100 spots.

Now he is my son, and let me be the first to say, it is really difficult being a parent to a child who you have never met and who is also older than you.

I am so proud of and so worried for my boy. 

I spent last night in a cold sweat as I fought off the urge to join Facebook, just so I could tell everyone how wonderful and successful my beautiful son is. They must know how impressive his outing was, I whispered to myself as I clawed at the drawer where my husband (wait, when did I get a husband?) had locked away my laptop. They must know that he broke his own record for most 100-mph pitches in a game.

He threw 66 fastballs, and every single one of them was more than 100 miles per hour. I frantically searched for the key. They have to know that only three were hit hard and into fair territory, and that Jakey struck out 12 batters, including seven in a row to begin the game. I took a hammer to the wood. But I can’t let it slip that he was pitching against the Rockies.

Susan from knitting club would have a field day with that.

As if HER kids have 185 strikeouts and a 1.58 ERA!

Speaking about the history he had once again made, https://www.mlb.com/video/jacob-misiorowski-talks-approach-in-12-k-performance">Mis said, “I had no idea.

I’m just throwing to Gary.” My humble boy!

Someone has to brag about him if he won’t.

Maybe I should send Susan that video.