I Rode The Tour De France Cauliflower

Patrick has spent the last three weeks https://defector.com/tag/2026-tour-de-france">following the Tour de France with our friends from Escape Collective.

This post was originally published on Escape Collective on July 27.

Defector readers can now get a six-month free trial of Escape Collective, with ad-free and independent coverage that goes beyond the Tour de France. https://escapecollective.com/6-months-with-defector/">Claim the offer here.

There was a point there, about three hours into a five-hour drive in 105 degree heat on the back of an enormous cauliflower, where it started getting old.

And then, three things happened.

In the space of 20 seconds, there was a sad-faced middle-aged man in a kind of regal medieval gown with fur sleeves and cuffs, standing a few meters away from a hauntingly still figure in a full fox suit complete with head; a few meters later, a five-year-old cosplayed as Tadej Pogacar, full UAE yellow kit and all.

This was not an atypical series of sightings, I should stress.

But its barrage did snap me out of my funk and back to the very strange reality in which I found myself.

After years surveying the Tour de France promotional caravan as a sociological phenomenon, I was now in the thick of it, on the Tour de France’s hottest day, on the race’s funniest vehicle.